5 Tips - How to Stay Calm Amidst Confrontation and Create A Peaceful Reality

What would you do if someone started yelling at you at the top of their lungs in public? As you tap into more of your creativity and artistic nature you are also more inclined to feel more vulnerable and sensitive. So how can you paint a prettier picture for yourself when things are really uncomfortable? How can you not lose our marbles and feel really bad, maybe even for days, after the said blow out? 

Here's 5 tips on how you can stand your ground and stay centered in a challenging situation;   

1.) Breathe consciously, counting how long you can make your inhales and how full you can release your exhales gives your brain something else to focus on. This is especially helpful if all your brain wants to do is react in an inappropriate way to the challenge at hand.
2.) Focus on the other person. Put all of your attention on the other person and make as many silent observations as possible. There's no judgement in this exercise. Just notice what are they wearing, what color is their hair, what are their hands doing etc. and then you can take it a step further and detect what is their behavior telling you? Making theses simple and specific observations is the first step into compassion. Having compassion can be a very helpful tool for you to stand your ground without getting swept away into stressful situation and it also has a positive side effect - understanding.
3.) Listen to what is being said. Let go of what you want to say in order to really listen aggressively to the other persons perspective.
4.) Don't take it personally. Nine times out of ten when someone is exploding it has nothing to do with you. They are reacting to an event that has already happened so don't take it personally because it's probably not even about you.
5.) Imagine yourself in the most peaceful place, a serene beach for example, then paint yourself the blissful picture in your minds eye and quietly ask yourself, how can I grow from this? What is the opportunity for learning here and what positive choice can I make to create the reality I want? 

We hope theses tips can be of help. Namaste.

Feel Your Fear & Show Up Anyway

As an artist what is your biggest fear?  Rejection?  If it is, join the club!  For so many artists the fear of rejection can be so powerful that it can stop you from creating anything at all.  The reality is not everyone is going to like you,  or work and that can be a very vulnerable awareness to have.  However, if you don't give yourself the chance you're going to feel rejection anyway, the rejection of your creative self.  That's far worse than any possible rejection from anyone else. Stifling your creative impulse can cause major dis- ease in your body, mind and spirit.  If you're too scared to even put your work out there in fear that someone might not like it, you'll never find the people that do like it.  When fear comes up ask yourself what are my core values? What do I want to give people through my art? What do I want them to experience?  The answers to these questions will reveal that your art might not actually be about you after all.  You're just allowing it to move through you so you can give it as a gift to someone else.  So, if it's not really yours to begin with then why do you think it's yours to judge?

I'll share a story from my personal experience as it relates to this.  One night I was booked to host a comedy show and I really didn't want to go.  Legitimate excuses ran through my head, I had a very stressful, busy and confronting day.  I was tired,  it was raining and I wasn't feeling like the funniest version of myself. I was in a dark place. As a matter of fact, as I sat in my over-priced 800 sq. ft.  Los Angeles apartment feeling sorry for myself, I thought I would much rather stay home and listen to the crack- heads in the alley dig through my recycle bin than go out and entertain a bar filled with people who might not even like me.

That's when something took over my body and I rose up above my fear and limiting ideas.  It might have been spirit, or the pot of coffee I polished off during my deliberating, either way,  before I could second guess it for a third time I was in my car and off to to host the show.  While driving I had an epiphany,  I thought why do I even like doing comedy?  Then I suddenly remembered.  I like comedy because I love making people laugh and I love when other people make me laugh.  BOOM!  Like a lightning bolt it hit me, that's it!  It was so simple- I didn't do comedy to win the approval of others and judge my performance good or bad, I did comedy because I simply enjoyed the energy of laughter and I LOVED being the catalyst of laughter in others because I know what it does for me when someone makes me laugh.  It's a game changer.

When someone makes me laugh or I make someone else laugh,  I'm suddenly lighter and everything is fun and possible again.  I'm instantly connected and present.  Rather than thinking and planning I'm just present and light filled and that's a very good feeling.  That's when I decided to make that my soul intention that night. There's an old joke amongst comics "If you can make just one person laugh... then you must not be very funny," ... but I didn't care,  I was actually setting out that night to be that old hack joke to make just one person laugh.  I showed up and guess what?  Yowza,  there was only one person in the audience!  Ha- jokes on me, touché God!  All the other comics left the bar one by one because they thought the show wasn't worth doing for just one person.  Oh and by the way,  it wasn't at The Hollywood Improv where this photo was taken, nope not at all. This show was at a dive bar in LA,  dirty and grossThe interesting thing is... this particular show ended up being one of the most memorable life transforming shows ever!  It was way beyond any cool club packed house show I had ever done and I'll explain why... this is a blog after all.  

So yes,  I stayed at the dive bar after all the other comics left although the circumstances provided the perfect storm for me to politely leave.

I did the opposite, maybe I was bat sh*t crazy, or I was possessed,  or spirit took the wheel,  whatever you want to think.... regardless of the circumstance,  I started the show. Okay let's be honest,  at that point it was more of a conversation and less of a show because keep in mind it was one person staring at me  from the audience but I had a mic and  I was on stage none the less. However,  within seconds- mission accomplished. We both laughed and I mean a lot!  I did my entire act just for her.  I couldn't believe that I did that but the really funny thing is that she loved it so much she gave me a standing ovation.  Okay, yes it was just one person standing and clapping  and maybe that seems weird but it most certainly counted as a standing o that night.  And as all comics know, it's actually way more challenging to perform in front of a few people as opposed to a full house,  let alone just ONE person!  

When I got off stage she quickly gave me a huge hug and I don't know who needed it more her or me. Okay this is going to sound dramatic but it's the truth,  she then opened her heart and shared that she had been seriously contemplating suicide that night because she felt so alone but something brought her to the show instead.  It was her "last ditch effort to change her vibration."  The best part is,   she said she hadn't laughed that much in a very long time and she felt so much better and more connected.  She said she was so grateful she pulled herself out of the house to see the "show." And by that time  I was really glad to have pulled myself out of the house too.  She said it was hard for her to believe she was in such a dark place because she felt so good now and she wondered how she could have even entertained such a depressed idea of taking her own  life.   She thanked me immensely for doing my act just for just her and as she walked away smiling... glowing actually,  she shouted over her shoulder upon her exit, "I'll see you next week Lea" and she did.  She came to all my local shows after that night but that was the only time it had been just the two of us.

On my way home I couldn't help but think, wow what if I hadn't shown up at all?  And then I got it!  Like  a ton of bricks slammed right into my head... when facing the fear of rejection make a clear intention from your core values to guide your art and leave the rest behind.  Feel the fear and show up anyway. Your art is not yours to judge, it's yours to give away.

Make Up, Don't Break Up With Time and Money

What is your relationship with time and money? Are you always saying I'm busy I don't have enough time and money to do the things I enjoy? I wish I could afford that fun trip, that show, that class but I can't, if only I had a different job, a better spouse, a different car, more money, a bigger house, a healthier body...fill in the blank... THEN I would spend time doing what I love and THEN I would create great things but I can't do what I love NOW because I just don't have enough time and I don't have the money. Or are you saying; I LOVE having all the time in the world to do all the things I enjoy. The more I enjoy my life the more I notice money, health and vitality flows to me. I'm so grateful and happy to spend my time and money learning, expanding, strengthening, thriving, loving, giving and creating unabashedly. 

Your relationship with time and money is most definitely one of lack if you constantly repeat the mantra “I don't have enough...” You might think, if only I had more time and money then I would have more fun, practice yoga, take an acting class, love my spouse, be a better friend, be a better listener, volunteer, learn to sing, laugh and play but I don't have enough time because I'm too busy! Too busy doing what? Being miserable? Who is telling you that you can't be the person of your dreams RIGHT NOW? Who is telling you that you should be miserable for the next thirty years because THEN you will be rewarded with a better job, a better spouse, a better house THEN you will have time to be creative, to be happy, to be healthy...  fill in the blank? When in fact, the fun starts only when you allow it to start, that's it. Time and money are just energy. They are both made up ideas so people could track things. The problem is that we often use these tracking inventions as limitations to our endless possibilities for happiness. It all depends on how you look at it. Ask yourself, what is my relationship with time and money? If it's one of lack just begin catching yourself, instead of saying; I'm broke, say I'm grateful for all that I have, all my needs are met! If you begin to tell a different story one that feels better, you will begin to feel better. Wayne Dyer said; “when you change the way you see things the things you see begin to change.”

It's a beautiful thing to be busy, if you're busy doing what you love, being love, sharing love, health, vitality, creativity and happiness. You will find that when you're living your life's purpose life takes a major shift and “busy” begins to feel full, expansive and gratifying rather than lacking, stressful and frantic.

I guess it comes down to this, if the truth is that you don't have enough time and money or there's very little of it... wouldn't you rather be spending your time and money by doing something you enjoy now? Wouldn't you want to try things that challenge you to grow now, take that class that's been calling to you now, audition for that part now and participate in all the activities that inspire you now? It makes more sense to live your life NOW, instead of waiting for some ideal of tomorrow that may never come.

You are being called to live your dreams or you wouldn't be reading this blog so give yourself permission to live a full life and be the person you want to be today. What would you do if you had all the time and money to do what you love? Act from a place of abundance and you will be supported. Create the life you dreamed of, travel courageously and create boldly because then you will have all the time and money you need.

Why Do Actors Need To Be In Acting Class?

As an actor your job is to work your craft every single day. Do you think a football player would expect to be drafted in the NFL if he never practiced? Do you think he would be ready to play pro ball just because his mom thought he would be good at it? No way! He knows if he wants it he has to practice, practice, practice and then practice some more. The same goes for any other profession that requires a skill set. Do you think a brain surgeon would bypass medical school and barge into an operating room with a butter knife? That's a scary thought and it's completely absurd right?  Well the same goes for actors, you have to learn your trade inside and out before you're really ready to perform skillfully.

It's your job to own the room every time you step on stage but your work begins long before you ever receive that phone call. Sanford Meisner said it takes twenty years to become a good actor. Now before you get all up in arms, he didn't say it takes twenty years to book a job, he said it takes twenty years to be really good. So, do you want to be a short lived flame or do you love the art form with an eternal fire? If you really have the drive to act and it lives in you then that's twenty years of blood, sweat and tears my friend. Twenty years of persistence, of training, of picking yourself up by the shoe strings again and again and again, studying with teachers who resonate with you and really working your craft every single day. It's a beautiful journey and you will grow leaps and bounds if you are open to it. It's not twenty years of your relatives telling you how cute you are and that you should be on TV. Acting just like any creative platform is never completed and put aside it's an ongoing process forever unfolding. It's a wonderful gift to be able to connect with others fully.

The trouble with acting is that many people think they can do it but very few really do. People are attracted to the fame, the money and the wardrobe as the mainstream media portrays it. On the contrary, acting is a spiritual calling. To be willing to really do the work of being open and vulnerable even without the fancy clothes is the plight of an artist. Only a real actor is able to do the deep soul searching into their own humanity that is necessary. It takes craft and diligent study to be able to muster confidence in the face of rejection time and time again. That's the work that you don't see on the red carpet but that's the truth about what it takes to get there. Believe it or not grace and ease are master skills and you can acquire them if you want to.

So you still ask, why does an actor need acting classes? Here's the shorter answer; acting classes are the actors gym. It's a place to work out and fail in a safe environment. It's a place to be brave and try new things. It's a place to create freely so when you do book a job you're relaxed and ready to play! While there are benefits to working monologues and things of that nature in the comforts of your own home at some point you need an audience and a director. To revisit the football reference, a football player can practice throwing the football alone but he can't practice, receiving, passing and scoring a touchdown, that requires a team. It's no different for an actor. While the road of an actor can feel solitary at times it requires a team to be successful.  Acting class provides community and support for you along your path. See you in class!